One Last Flu Blog. (I Promise)

The World Health Organization (WHO?) has raised the alert level again on the swine flu, or as it's now known, "H1N1". That's now level 5. I think if we reach level six we get 10 new lives and access to new weapons? Or maybe that's just a video game I use to play.

This flu bug has killed less than 1 hundred people so far according to WHO. The regular flu that makes the rounds every year kills thousands. WHAT is the big deal? WHY are we listening to WHO? WHERE do they get off scaring the hell out of us? WHEN will I stop with the corny WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE jokes?

I'm going to bed. I have the snuffles and my snout aches.

Top Ten Myths About Swine Flu

Top Ten Myths About Swine Flu

• Swine flu comes from eating Wendy's "Baconator" sandwich
• Pigs have asked for use of the term "Tummy Ache" instead of "Swine Flu"
  
• If you have the Swine flu you will turn onto Rosie O'Donnell
• If you have the Swine flu you will turn onto Jeneane Garofalo
• You can catch the Swine flu by being in the same room with either of the above
• Swine flu causes you to develop a taste for SLOP
• Joe Biden doesn't think that riding trains, planes and automobiles gives you the swine flu
• H1N1 is code for "Run for your lives!"
• The only prescription for Swine flu is MORE COWBELL!
  
• You can catch the swine flu by Twittering with an infected person

Keep sane. Keep clean. Don't panic.

( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/More_cowbell )

Swine Flu From Mexico?

Today there was a press conference about the swine flu problem. It seems that we are threatened by Mexicans in more than one way. First it was drug gangs. Now it is Swine Flu. Janet Napolitano hinted that she believed 95% of all pigs in Mexico came from the US. We cannot verify that of course because the Mexicans filed off the serial numbers from the pigs. Here is the best news though. Mexico has done on their own what we were unable to do. Close the BORDERS. Perhaps the border problem isn't one of immigration and drugs. It is one of vomit and diarrhea. Now if we could only introduce Camel Fever to the Middle East?